måndag 12 juni 2017

Explanations

I promised to tell you yesterday why I was off the air. So here it goes; my dad had a heart attack and my siblings and I went to the hospital to be with him. They've tried to do a percutaneous coronary intervention, which basically means that they've advanced a deflated balloon into the obstructed artery and then inflated it to relieve the narrowing. However it didn't work, so he's now scheduled for an ultrasound before going off to surgery. I'm not sure when or what that'll entail, but I'll let you know. He's doing fine considering and so are we. Yesterday was a really hard day, for all of us, and especially for our dad of course. I was shocked, afraid and felt really taken back by what happened. I cried a lot and felt really small and in need of cuddling up to my daddy as if I was a young child again. Of course I didn't. We all stayed strong for him! I broke down before getting to the hospital (a one hour drive) and afterwards, going back home.

I've been thinking a lot today. About dad. And life in general. Those of you who've been reading my blog for a while, knows that my parents divorced when I was five years old. So I spent most of my childhood years living with my mother, except for every other weekend that I stayed at my fathers house. But, my parents always celebrated the big holidays and all our birthdays together, as a family even after they divorced, so although not living together full time, I always knew dad loved me/us. 
 
I talked to a friend a few days back about how people sometimes say that you don't realise what you have until it's lost. Like how valuable and important a certain person is in your life, and not realising it until it's too late. We were talking about my grandfather, and I said that I never doubted that, I was always well aware of his greatness and importance, even as he was alive. And today I started thinking about that, and connecting those thoughts to all the people close to me. Do I see and understand what I have? Have I told them? Have I let them know how important they are and how much I appreciate, love and admire them? That loosing them would create an empty space in my life and heart that will need time to heal. I'm not sure.

But I'm sure of this;
Tragic things, like a heart attack, enforces changes in and around people. For all affected. And it's usually a good thing! Daddy needs to stop smoking, to not work as hard as he did when he was thirty (he'll be 66 in October), and eat/drink more healthy. He needs to take time to relax and he needs to exercise, not just work 14-16 hours a day. And we need to take notice as well, living healthier too, but also for dad! Making it more easy for him to make this change.
But, for me this enforces me to be more committed to ensuring that every one around me knows how important they are to me. Not just taking it for granted, thinking that they ought to know by now, but truly making sure! Before it's too late! The world needs more love and happiness in it and this is a great way to start, don't you think! 

But for now all my focus is on dad and him getting better again. Everything else is less important and will have to wait. One hurdle at a time!

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

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