fredag 30 juni 2017

Memories worth remembering

I've talked a lot about my grandfather here on the blog, and I think it's about time I pay the same respect to my beautiful grandmother, Ingeborg. She passed away in 1993, way to early. ❤️

She was born in 1917 in a little village called Västerljung, about 70 kilometres from Stockholm, and although I never had the opportunity to ask her in person I'm pretty sure granddad was the love of her life! 

As always, I'm sure others have different opinions on who she was, but this entry and my descriptions are how I knew her. This is my personal portrayal of who she was to me.

Most people would describe her as an extremely skilled baker and cook, and she was! For sure! People payed money for her services, baking and cooking for other peoples different festivities. She was also very good at knitting and taking care of their home and children (and grandchildren), but for some reasons these are not the traits I want to use to describe her. I'm sure she wouldn't mind, she loved doing it, but it feels like it's not nearly enough! She was so much more than that! She was a very strong and wise woman, so loving and caring. Her arms and heart were always open for loving or comforting hugs. She was a good listener and she always had an answer or a solution to your troubles. And strangely she always knew more than you told her, even if you were trying to keep some of it hidden when asking for her guidance. 

I spent my summers at their house at Tullgarn when growing up, and I can still remember waking up to the sounds and the amazing smells of her cooking us breakfast. Hot chocolate with whipped cream on top. And boiling hot coffee for her and granddad. Boiled eggs from their chickens and bread with cheese and sausages. After breakfast she baked, almost every day, making her kitchen constantly smell of butter, vanilla, cinnamon and cardamom. Absolutely divine! 

We had a second morning coffee, or "fika" as we say in Swedish, outside at 10:00 each morning. She served us home maid (of course!) cardamom buns, sponge cake and cookies, and we talked about what was to happen in the day ahead. Always accompanied by a yard full of chirping birds of all sorts, as she and granddad always fed them some cake while sitting there. They actually had a one legged wagtail returning year after year to keep them company while having their coffee, and they talked warmly about it and anxiously awaited its return each spring. And besides their own cat Tusse, they fed three strays that came to visit each day; Pelle, Ettöringen och Ludendolf. I can see all of this in my mind, all the animals, the divine smell of the cookies mixing with coffe and the sunshine falling on my skin like a glittering rain through the branches of the big tree on the yard.

Grandad often went back inside getting his latest poem and then giving it to grandma to read out loud to all of us when enjoying our coffee. He wanted us to tell him if it was a good one or not, but mostly I think he wanted grandmas opinion. Sitting on edge while she read, looking out over the pastures and meeting her eyes only after she had finished. She was always honest. Always! And it made him a better writer, giving him perspectives he hadn't considered, I'm sure of it. I never saw or heard him be upset when she wasn't completely in awe or happy with the words he'd put together. He just went back inside, did some changes and then returned for her second read. And when they got published in the newspaper she proudly read them out loud to all of us again. 

You know how they say that "behind every successful man stands an overwrought woman"? I think it was a bit like that for my grandparents, except my grandma really didn't mind. She was very proud of granddad, and she followed him when he went to different happenings to read his poems. I guess granddad was more at ease being in the centre of every ones attention, and grandma more content standing by his side. At least I hope that that was the case. I spent years getting to know my granddad better when I became an adult, but as my grandma died when I was only 18, I really didn't have the same opportunity with her. 

All I know is that she was a truly remarkable lady, who loved us all unconditionally. She and granddad gave me the happiest days of my life, making me feel safe and loved no matter what. She wasn't just kind, she was also good at setting up ground rules and boundaries for us to relate to, and she was hard (but fair) when we disobeyed them. She expected us to be at our best behaviour, well manored, when having guests or being away on a luncheon or visit at their friends house. And when we did, she was almost bursting with pride! ❤️

I still think of the last time we met. Her last summer in life. She was very ill and knew that she was going to die. That our meeting probably would be our last. I was upset, because she couldn't stop looking at me. Her eyes filled with love and sadness. It frightened me because I wasn't at all ready to say goodbye. To even comprehend that she wasn't going to live forever. She went through her wardrobes trying to give me their towels, bed linen, curtains and tablecloths. I was about to move away from home, and she said I would have better use of all of that then her and granddad as she would soon be gone. Granddad was angry telling her to stop giving everything away, and grandma was upset with him for making her stop. I was there with my mother and we both ended up taking home a pouch each with towels and bed linen. It was a difficult good bye, but in my wildest dreams I never would have thought it was to be our last. 

She died later that fall, and I never got to see her again.   I remember granddad calling to ask me to write her a letter, and sending some pictures of me with it, because she had started to forget things. And I did. I wrote her a long letter telling her how much I loved her and how blessed I was to have had her in my life. Thankful for how happy and safe she had made me feel and what an amazing lady she was. She never received my letter, she died before it ever got to her. For years after she died I had nightmares of seeing her walk away from me, hurt that I had not said my goodbyes. In the dream I was always crying hard and calling for her, asking for her forgiveness, but she was always out of reach. 

I'm sure she and granddad still enjoys their morning coffee while eating her amazing cakes and cookies, and looking at that one legged wagtail chirping by their feet while doing so. And I'm sure granddad still writes his poem and sits on edge while grandma gives him her feedback. And when they look at each other, their eyes are still full of love for each other and for us. 
I know mine are! And pride, for being their granddaughter. ❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

torsdag 29 juni 2017

Kind of

It's really hard to let go of work these first days of vacay. Do you have the same problem when you leave work for a long vacation?  I had to work 3 hours yesterday and I had planned not to today, but I got another three hours done today as well. I don't mind though, quite the opposite. It feels good to get things done that otherwise would have to wait too long. Its kind of like me weaning of work at a slow and steady rate. 😆

But the good thing is I got the vacay dress code down, at least for couch time at night! 😆 The weather doesn't really support summer vacay wear, like bikinis or short summer dresses, it's too freakin' cold! But in one week I'll be in sunny Spain and hopefully spend most of my time there in a bikini! 👌🏻

Mini me has an ear infection so we're spending tomorrow trying to fence off that infection by taking it slow and do non active activities, like reading, painting or playing games inside. Here in Sweden the doctors usually doesn't prescribe antibiotics/penicillin for ear infections, which is a good thing considering antimicrobial resistance (antibiotic resistance), so we didn't get any when we visited the doctor today. But, the kind doctor promised that she would prescribe it if it got worse as we're flying to Spain next week. Fingers crossed though, that we won't need it. 

How's your summer so far?

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

onsdag 28 juni 2017

Hidden battles

Last night we were all touched by the news that one of Swedens most talented and respected actors, Michael Nyqvist, had died, only 56 years old. Apparently he held his battles with cancer hidden well, and far away from the social media circus, and his passing struck down as a bomb here in Sweden. I've read condolences from all over the world and from all levels of society on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook as well as in various newspapers and tv shows. My heart aches for his family and loved ones, and for the world who has lost a beautiful man, way to early. He has left a huge void in this world that very few could ever fill. 

It made me wonder about social media and the easy access we have to information these days. The silence before his passing. On one hand it's reassuring that it's still possible to stay off the grid when you need to, even for famous people. That what ever you're going through that you want to keep private, is still possible to keep hidden. I guess that is hugely dependent on your friends and family integrity too. Either way, it feels good to know that not everything must be flaunted or gossiped about online when it comes to our celebrities. 

But, on the other hand, how did we ever get here in the first place? Why do we feel a need to stay online 24/7? Why do we live huge parts of our lives through social media instead of focusing on them, the people, closest to us? Why do we want to reach out like that? To thousands, or millions even? It's a very interesting question, and I'm absolutely one of those people that's somewhat depending on social media to fulfill some kind of need to be seen and listened to. And to see others. Of course, my life does not depend upon it, but I do like it. The attention. But then again, I don't have thousands upon thousands of followers, or people constantly questioning everything I say or do. I'm just an ordinary woman, airing some thoughts daily on a blog.

In my case it's much more interesting to ask why people read this blog in the first place, as it does nothing to add to the excitement of fame, because I have none. Perhaps the thoughts and actions of an ordinary woman is more exotic these days? Who knows! I'm happy you choose to read what I write and that some of you even keep returning on a regular basis. Thank you! And I guess I'll keep doing it as long as I find it fulfilling. But some things are meant to keep secret or hidden. Of that I'm certain. The world doesn't have to know every little detail or every little secret you have. At least I know I don't! I salute Mr Nyqvist for keeping his battles with this awful decease hidden - I'm sure it gave him and his family some comfort in knowing that they wouldn't be questioned or contacted by outsiders trying to get more information about it. The choice is theirs, and we should all respect that. 

Sending all my love and support to the Nyqvist family. Rest in peace Mr Michael Nyqvist - you will be greatly missed. ❤️

Fuck cancer

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

tisdag 27 juni 2017

Needs

Needs. Trembling, breathtaking and aching needs. My needs. A hunger aching deep inside, so strong that it makes my head spin. Over and over. Raw and untamed feelings bursting their way through my body, making my skin tingle. Like someone is close enough for me to sense their presence, but still out of reach for us touching. Skin on skin. Almost. Restless desires. Burning. Hot. Craving a release, calling for it like they had a voice of their own. 

I still them. I need to, to stay sane. I get my releases, as soon as I venture into other worlds than my own. My entire being screams for it. For me to let go of reality and to fulfill those needs. Nothing else is enough, not nearly enough. I need to read. It's almost not a choice, it's more like an addiction, a drug of my preferred choice. And God, do I love it! I crave it! All of me; heart, body and soul. I long for it! I ache for it. 
 
This is my happy place. Not a specific place in this world, but eye deep into a book. I've started my third book in a serie I started three days ago, and I know, it border on crazy. But this is me. This is who I am. This is where I thrive! Where I belong! What I love!

#smartgirlsread #ilovebooks #bookaddict

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

måndag 26 juni 2017

Imperfections

I don't tell you everything. I have secrets. Big and small. I hide behind high walls and in deep forests in my mind. When I need to. I keep pieces of my truth tucked away in the deep and dark corners of my heart. Not always having the energy or the strength needed to share. I hurt, I cry, I bleed and I fight. Just like most people. I run and I hide. And I think you do too. We all have secrets. But they're not all bad. Some, or even quite a few are happy ones, to even out the scale. 
 
Some of my secrets are ones I'd rather not keep. Don't get me wrong, they're my own, not forced upon me by someone else. They're just things I would probably be better off sharing (because it gives me needed perspectives) or taking care of. Airing them out. But for different reasons I keep them, most often because it's easier and sometimes less hurtful. We can call them my "imperfections". Because these secrets does nothing but weigh me down. I try to ignore them, to forget or trying to diminish the power they possess. All in them selves, or even worse paired up with others. Adding to the weight by a hundred. And I try not to let them affect me, and change me. But it's hard. And they do, whether I like it or not. They take their toll and as they start to affect me they become my imperfections. 

The worst thing with these "imperfections" is that I can get rid of most of them. There is away. But I've learned that that entails me becoming someone I'm not. And truthfully I'm more scared of that then anything else. I'd rather carry them, and fight them all by myself, than letting them weigh someone else down when I free myself off them. I don't like having others carry the weight of my problems/issues.

I'm not a saint, by no means! I can be mean, resentful, obnoxious, hurtful (not purposely), stubborn and a pain in the ass, just as most people. Some people even dislike me (I'm not angelic in any way) and some may even have fare reasons to. But even so, I'd rather keep my "imperfections" then seeing them hurt or weigh down others. 

One of these "imperfections" made me realise something last week. And I have to give them that, they always come with a lesson of some sort in the end, you just got to be willing to listen and learn (which I don't always do)! The imperfection in itself is an old one, but it got revived by an act of others, and the lesson taught was that I'm not always the strong one, or as strong as I want to believe I am. This might sound strange for those of you not knowing me, I'm aware. I'm not really good at portraying myself here on the blog as being the strong one, but I am. Truly (especially at work). I wasn't always, but life taught me to, and toughened me up!

I've always thought that I'm most strong in company of others, getting empowered by them or the issues at hand (I'm a problem solver too) - hence the "imperfection" as I'm clearly not. That I let my self be weaker and vulnerable only when all alone - guards down. But this lesson taught me otherwise. That in specific surroundings, or in the company of specific people or specific circumstances, I'm weakened by the presence of others. That there are moments when I'm not guarded enough to let things pass me by. Not even when I think I'm in a safe zone. 

I'm not sure yet what this means. That I'm not to have safe zones? Or how I'll handle it. Guards up? Always? Maybe the knowledge in itself makes me stronger? More prepared. For now I'm just letting it sink in. And realising that letting go of this one, freeing myself, could presumably entail hurting someone else due to the raw honesty having to be delivered with it, and in that case probably affecting a lot of others (and I'm not sure that is to be looked upon as an entirely good thing right now - although it potentially could be). So I don't. And believe me, this does not make me an martyr (although I can easily see that you might think so), I'm well aware of my own needs and I'm not a victim. This has nothing to do with being kind or not taking responsibility by not letting others know of or enabling their escape from owning a part in a specific deed or event. I'm just not convinced that the solution to ridding myself of this "imperfection" is by airing it. Being a problem solver also makes me believe that I have different options to consider, and I haven't done that yet! But I will! 😆

Am I making any sense? Or is this gibberish to you? Do you have secrets weighing you down? What are your reasons for carrying them all by yourself? Or do you share them? 

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

söndag 25 juni 2017

Ordinary stuff

Today I've been doing kind of boring ordinary stuff. Like cleaning the house, washing and drying, grocery shopping and then baking a cake and cooking dinner. But! I had a great day! And we had special dinner guests so that kind of made it more fun. The cleaning part that is. The dinner was super fun! Mini me's best friend with parents (and siblings) joined us for dinner and they're absolutely great. Kind of funny how it turns out, us parents becoming great friends because our daughters are bffs. ❤️

I made chocolate cake with strawberries and whipped cream for dessert, and I found this strange looking strawberry 🍓 when preparing them. 
 
It's like two in one! Or a perfect strawberry butt! 😆
 
Now I'm off dating my Kindle. I'm reading a great series now that I have trouble separating from. The characters stay with me even after I've closed my book. Love, love, love that! I'll tell you more about it in another blog entry! 

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

lördag 24 juni 2017

Discovering new places

I've told you before here on the blog that I'm not really good at playing with mini me. We do regular stuff, like paint, and glue stuff together (what is it with kids and glue? She would glue everything if I let her!), we play games, we read books and today she pretended to be my hairdresser while I sat reading - but I'm not good at playing with her stuffed animals or dolls. And I'm not at all good at pretending to be someone else and acting like a princess or a witch or whatever. I've stopped trying because I know I suck at it! And I guess she's happy enough with my crafty skills because she's seems to be content with that and rarely ask me to do any of the stuff I'm not good at. 😆
 
Well, today we went on a long walk after the raining stopped and went to this beautiful playground that is built after a children's book character called "Pelle Tailless" (Pelle Svanslös" in Swedish). He's a cat without a tail, and he lives in Uppsala. Mini me loves the books about Pelle and his friends, and so did I growing up, so this playground is a popular one!
 
You find more information about the playground here! And most of the pictures are borrowed from that site.
It's so cute, just like stepping into the world of Pelle with friends! 
Pelle is the cat with the green ribbon around his neck and "Maja" is his girlfriend. ❤️
 
Mini me enjoys the small houses, here the bakery!
 
Every little detail seems to be thought through, making it a great place for kids!
 
Super fun! 
 
So, if you're planning a visit to Uppsala and if you have kids, don't forget to go visit Pelle and Maja! Your kids will love it, and probably you too! 

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

fredag 23 juni 2017

Midsummer Eve

Midsummer Eve is slowly coming to an end. I'm the only one still up, my loved ones sleeping since hours back. I've had a great day, spending time with my family at my brothers and dads farm just outside the city where I grew up. My parents divorced when I was 6, but they still get together as friends when we celebrate whatever holidays together as a family. I think that is truly admirable, and it has meant everything to us kids as we grew up! Seeing mum and dad get together for us, to be able to be a whole family although the love between them withered and ended. So thank you guys! We love you for doing that for us! ❤️

I usually take a lot of pictures all day long, and I had planned to take pictures from our get together today, but for some reason I didn't. Kind of strange really. But maybe it was a good thing, keeping me in the moment and not hiding behind the camera. Anyhow, for that reason I can't show you any pictures from our Midsummer celebrations. But, I can tell you we didn't dance around any pole covered in flowers, and we didn't get drunk after drinking snaps all day! We did however eat pickled herring, and we absolutely ate strawberries with cream for dessert. Wouldn't have been Midsummer if we hadn't! 🍓🍓🍓

I drove home late afternoon and spent the rest of the day with my little family, having the best of times. Quiet (no alcohol and partying for me), but fun and very nice. ❤️

It's past midnight and it's raining outside. I've heard sirens from police cars and ambulances passing, the last two hours and I can't help thinking maybe more people should have considered a more quiet celebration today. And probably wished they had when waking up tomorrow. Midsummer is one of the messiest holidays of the year, alcohol truly brings out the worst in people, so I'm not surprised when listening to the sirens. But it still gets me a bit sad. We learn to have fun again, without drinking too much!
 
Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

torsdag 22 juni 2017

All done

All done with work, and ready to take on some lazy days and happy, sunny days! Five weeks of vacation is next!
 
Summer, I'm ready for you! Let's have some fun! ☀️🏖❤️ First up; Midsummer Eve celebrations! Meeting up with my parents and siblings with families tomorrow for some festivities! 🎉

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

onsdag 21 juni 2017

Almost there

Yeay, almost there! Only one more day of work left before going on vacation! 👌🏻
But, I'm not mentally there just yet. I think it will be more noticeable on Monday when I don't have to set the alarm and wake up at 6 in the morning as I usually do. 😆
 
I'm trying my best to adapt to the summer vacation mode, wearing summer dresses 👗 every day. Or at least the sunny days! And when I get back home I swiftly jump out of them and put my pjs on to get into that relaxing mode!
 
I have no plans for my first week off from work, other than having a fun time with mini me! But the week after that we're flying to Spain, and we'll be staying there for three weeks before flying back home again. 
How are you spending your vacation?

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

tisdag 20 juni 2017

Closing in

Today the number on the wall is...2
2 more workdays before vacation starts! Yeay! I told a friend yesterday that I feel calm and that I've actively decided not to be stressed out over the fact that I still have a ton of work to get through, and that anything left on Thursday afternoon, just have to wait until August! Well, today I'm not so calm anymore and I feel a bit stressed! 😜 But! I'll still have that goal in sight; no stress (or at least as little as possible) and some issues just have to lay dormant until I'm back! If it's not emergencies because those issues I'm handling although being on vacation! 
 
Mini me is attending her last day at kindergarten tomorrow before going on her summer break, and she's super exited. 7 weeks off! I'm not sure she'll be that exited on Monday though when she realises she won't be playing with all her friends all day long as she does at kindergarten. But I'm planning play dates already so I hope she'll have fun either way! ❤️

How are you spending your summer?

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

måndag 19 juni 2017

Magic number

You know the rule of three? "All good things come in three". Or in Latin; "omne trium perfectum" - everything that comes in three is perfect. I live by it! I could never just pick two pieces of chocolate, I always pick three. It's like this thing where I know picking three of something is going to make it so much better, whatever it is! Wiping my hands when leaving the bathroom at work, I always pick three paper towels! It's almost like an OCD thing, come to think about it! 😆 It's like my lucky number, but not. Choosing just one number I always pick 6, but the 3 would be my second choice! And the strangest thing is, when something good happens in your life it's almost always a three thing! You might not know it at once, but in the end you could almost always count up to three great things happening! And the other way around, unfortunately. Even bad things comes in threes. 
 
Anyhow, the reason for me going on about this is the fact that I know have 3 more workdays left before vacation starts! And the 3 made me think! Have I had three great things happening today? Well yes! It's small things, but nevertheless! 1. Great day at work, finishing off old and time consuming issues, and getting great feedback! 2. Had a long, great and heartfelt talk with mini me ending my heart nearly bursting with joy, love and pride. She's such an amazing and smart little girl. 3. I finally found this great project that might be super interesting for us to join in on! More about that another day! So, you see, threes perfect! Even in the smallest of ways! ❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

söndag 18 juni 2017

Taste of summer

There are nothing as tasty as Swedish strawberries in summertime. It's truly like tasting summer! Like all the joys of summer is put together into these gorgeously red and juicy berries! Pure bliss! 🍓🍓🍓
I've eaten strawberries in many different countries, but none of those strawberries can even come close to the Swedish ones in taste! 👌🏻
 
I had my first ones for this season today. And they were absolutely perfect! 

Other than enjoying a plate of strawberries and cream, I've spent the day on a beach (different one from yesterday) with my little family and my sister and one of her daughters. Again, I did not swim. The water temperature was only +19 C, so it was unthinkable for me to stick my toe into it. But the kids enjoyed it, for a bit at least. 😆

Tomorrow is Monday and my countdown to vacation begins for real! Just 4 more workdays... It'll be my mantra tomorrow; just 4 more days! So looking forward to some lazy days with my little girl and hubby! ❤️🙏🏻❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

lördag 17 juni 2017

Summer's here

What a great day I've had. Clear blue skies, sunshine and fun family time. We went to a lake just outside the city, Länna lake, and enjoyed a few hours of swimming (not me, I don't go into the water if it's under + 25-26 C) and sunbathing! 
 
It's so pretty there! And it was surprisingly few people there! Usually it's packed with people wanting to enjoy the water! 
 
I love spending time on the beach! And yes, I wear sunscreens, the highest possible (which means 50)!
 
Mini me loves flowers no matter how small! And it's like a calling, she has to pick them too! And give them to mum! 😍
 
And she loves feeding the ducks in Fyrisån. And the view of the Uppsala cathedral in the background is just amazing! This is one of my favourite spots in Uppsala. And I admit, I like feeding the ducks too! 

Now I'm about to start enjoying a movie night with hubby! Mini me is sleeping (or at least soon I hope) and we're cuddling up on the couch!

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

fredag 16 juni 2017

Friday workout

It's Friday night and I have 4 workdays left before a 5 week vacation begins. Yeay! And a week from now, next Friday, we celebrate one of the biggest holidays in Sweden, Midsummer eve. That means we're off from work on Thursday already. I do love my job, but a vacation is a vacation! And being away from work makes me appreciate it more!👌🏻
 
I started off this morning with an early morning workout session at the gym. Today was arms, shoulders and back day (which is all my weak areas) so my arms have been super shaky ever since, making it hard even to lift a glass of water to my mouth! 😆
 
Well, as you know, Fridays are also spent in the stables, where mini me has her riding lessons. So no matter how tired (noticeable in the picture above, which was taken on the way to the stables) I am after a week of working, going to the stables is always a positive thing, giving loads of positive energy back to us. And I love being there together with mini me, having the love of horses and riding in common. ❤️
 
Today she rode this little black beauty, Zeus. It's the third time this term that she gets to ride this little guy, and he's such a sport! He's friendly (except for when you thighten the saddle strap), responsive and he enjoys a good run, trotting happily and eagerly, which my daughter loves. Now we're taking a break from riding until august, when the lessons starts up again. We'll be missing our cuties, but they need a vacation as well as us!

How are you spending your summer?

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

torsdag 15 juni 2017

New encounters

When I sat outside eating my lunch at work today, something bumped into my forehead. Or rather flew right into me. Because of the size I knew instantly that it wasn't a huge thing, but as I'm not really fond of insects that insight alone made me scream like a little girl. My colleague laughed and when I said (screamed) "take it off me", we both noticed it had left my head and now had fallen down inside her blouse... And did she scream! My friend, not the beetle! My God! I laughed so hard I almost couldn't stand up. She was dancing like a wild one, screaming like crazy as she tried to get rid of it, and after what felt like minutes (probably more like a few seconds) it finally fell to the ground. 
 
It's a "tallbock" female (one of our biologists told us) and no, she doesn't eat people (they prefer wood), but that didn't really register when we tried to push her off us! 😂 I don't mind them when being on the ground or anywhere else other than on me! Like I said in an earlier blog post; I like them when I don't have to touch them or have them touching me! 

I'm not sure it has an English name, "tallbock", but you could always look up the scientific name; Monochamus sutor.

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

onsdag 14 juni 2017

Back on track

I'm so tired tonight that I'm having trouble staying awake. My eyes are itchy and dried up, and wants me to close them for today. But the day is far from over so I'll just ignoring the tiredness. 

I left work fairly early today to attend mini me's summer celebrations at kindergarten. We're not allowed to take pictures there so I won't be able to show you how cute the kids were and how well they performed all their songs. You just have to take my word for it. To top it off we went on a picnic in the park just next to kindergarten. We've had amazing weather here today, warm, sunny and blue skies! As it was raining almost the entire day yesterday we felt really lucky to be able to enjoy the summer celebrations with perfect weather conditions! 👌🏻
 
Now I'm off socialising with my in laws that is here for a few days. See you guys tomorrow again! I'll be enjoying a date night with my hubby tomorrow, first time in ages, starting off with a workout at the gym and then a movie! 👌🏻

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

tisdag 13 juni 2017

Next step

My dad got to leave the hospital tonight. I'm not sure I can explain how that is correctly in English, but I'll give it a try. 
My dad had an ultrasound of the heart done early this morning and according to the doctors, the part of the heart where the myocardial infarction is at, has "died" and now they want to wait a week before doing some more tests, including a stress test of the heart, before deciding on the surgery or not. I'm not sure what to feel about this. On one hand I'm really relieved that they consider him well enough to go home, but on the other hand it felt safer knowing he was in the hospital when having had a heart attack! And knowing he still might need that surgery done in a week or two. But I guess I just have to trust them. And help dad to feel better! ❤️ 
 
Now I'm off to bed. I've got lots to do tomorrow, at work and at home. Mini me has this summer celebrations at kindergarten so I'm leaving work early to go watch them sing and then taking her on a picnic. 

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

måndag 12 juni 2017

Explanations

I promised to tell you yesterday why I was off the air. So here it goes; my dad had a heart attack and my siblings and I went to the hospital to be with him. They've tried to do a percutaneous coronary intervention, which basically means that they've advanced a deflated balloon into the obstructed artery and then inflated it to relieve the narrowing. However it didn't work, so he's now scheduled for an ultrasound before going off to surgery. I'm not sure when or what that'll entail, but I'll let you know. He's doing fine considering and so are we. Yesterday was a really hard day, for all of us, and especially for our dad of course. I was shocked, afraid and felt really taken back by what happened. I cried a lot and felt really small and in need of cuddling up to my daddy as if I was a young child again. Of course I didn't. We all stayed strong for him! I broke down before getting to the hospital (a one hour drive) and afterwards, going back home.

I've been thinking a lot today. About dad. And life in general. Those of you who've been reading my blog for a while, knows that my parents divorced when I was five years old. So I spent most of my childhood years living with my mother, except for every other weekend that I stayed at my fathers house. But, my parents always celebrated the big holidays and all our birthdays together, as a family even after they divorced, so although not living together full time, I always knew dad loved me/us. 
 
I talked to a friend a few days back about how people sometimes say that you don't realise what you have until it's lost. Like how valuable and important a certain person is in your life, and not realising it until it's too late. We were talking about my grandfather, and I said that I never doubted that, I was always well aware of his greatness and importance, even as he was alive. And today I started thinking about that, and connecting those thoughts to all the people close to me. Do I see and understand what I have? Have I told them? Have I let them know how important they are and how much I appreciate, love and admire them? That loosing them would create an empty space in my life and heart that will need time to heal. I'm not sure.

But I'm sure of this;
Tragic things, like a heart attack, enforces changes in and around people. For all affected. And it's usually a good thing! Daddy needs to stop smoking, to not work as hard as he did when he was thirty (he'll be 66 in October), and eat/drink more healthy. He needs to take time to relax and he needs to exercise, not just work 14-16 hours a day. And we need to take notice as well, living healthier too, but also for dad! Making it more easy for him to make this change.
But, for me this enforces me to be more committed to ensuring that every one around me knows how important they are to me. Not just taking it for granted, thinking that they ought to know by now, but truly making sure! Before it's too late! The world needs more love and happiness in it and this is a great way to start, don't you think! 

But for now all my focus is on dad and him getting better again. Everything else is less important and will have to wait. One hurdle at a time!

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

söndag 11 juni 2017

Off the air

I'll tell you why tomorrow.
❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

lördag 10 juni 2017

Saturday fun

It's been a nice and easy Saturday for me and my little family. Nothing out of the ordinary, but fun. Some shopping, some fun and some everyday necessities (like laundry, cooking food and so on).
 
We had take out for lunch, Chinese food. And Charlie the cat was very interested in my fortune cookie.  
Afterwards we went for a walk and a picnic in the sunshine. Love chestnut trees! They're so majestic, don't you agree!
 
And then a divine bisque for me (no picture sadly, it found its way to my tummy within seconds), and buns for the rest of the family served on our picnic blanket. 
 
Then we got back home (after lazying around in the sunshine, playing at the playground and some more walking) and continued our day. Not long after we got back home, the sky darkened and lightning struck and was followed by thunderstorms making our windows rattle! 
 
So I'm ending this Saturday night doing what I love, reading, while listening to the rain falling on my windowsills. ❤️👌🏻 

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

Bring it on

Bring it on Saturday, I'm ready for you! Let's have some fun! 🙌🏻
Carpe diem, friends!

Later babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

fredag 9 juni 2017

Early morning workout done

Started this gray Friday with an early morning workout at the gym. Well, it wasn't really gray when I left home, so I packed a summer dress in my bag to wear after showering. Kind of resulted in me freezing like crazy all day at work as the sun hid behind thick gray clouds from the second I stepped out of the gym! 😆
 
I made this a leg day, as well as a lower back day. I probably should have concentrated on my arms, shoulders and back, but I wanted to feel strong and capable. Working with my weak spots just wouldn't have done it for me today in the sense of refilling my positive energy depots! 😜
 
So I left the gym feeling tired, yet happy and strong! 💪🏻👊🏻 I'll work on those weak parts on Wednesday when my PT is joining me in the gym! Already kind of fear that workout, she'll make me wish I'd worked harder on those weak spots since our last session for sure... 🙊

By now you know I'm not exactly a party animal, so I'll spend this lovely Friday evening doing what I do best, dating my Kindle. Drinking tea. Cuddled up on the couch under a blanket. Maybe nibbling on some dark chocolates. What's your plan for tonight? 

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

torsdag 8 juni 2017

Silence is golden

Sometimes I think we should be more quiet. And I know it's an oxymoron as I spend a lot of time writing about nothing of importance here on the blog! But we should! "Silence is golden" as you know, and the things you learn in that space of complete silence are simply invaluable! And yes, nowadays being silent means getting of the grid because being active on social media is not being silent! 

So let's save up time to speak to when we really and truly have something important to say. At least once in a while. I'll try! 
 
So tonight, or what remains of it, I'll be quiet and I'll spend my time going back on memory lane, to this beautiful beach on Mataking Island, Borneo, that I visited 2008!

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

onsdag 7 juni 2017

Nerdy stuff

As some of you know I work at the Swedish Species Information Centre and we are more than a few nerds working here! Please, do not misread anything negative into that! I say that with the utmost respect and care for the amazing people I get to work with every day. They're the best of the best, the experts, and calling them and myself nerds, is to be thought of as a huge compliment! I'm super proud of them and I hope the knowledge and wisdom they/we possess will rub off and inspire the rest of the world for generations to come! They're amazing!

Take me for an example. I detest bugs. Truly. They scare me to bits, and for the life of me I could never just pick one up and hold it in my hand. But! After starting working here I'm strangely fascinated by them too! Why? Because of my colleagues, the experts! They've taught me so much the two years I've been working here and they've inspired me to take an interest in what's around me, whether it being a bug, an animal, a tree or a flower! So that's why you find bugs nowadays on my Instagram feed. Not every day, but still. Occasionally. And NO, I still don't touch them, but I see them and I want to learn more about them! 
 
Like on today's walk at work when I found this little fellow. I can even find it strangely beautiful (which I would never had said two years back). My colleagues told me it's a crane fly of some kind (never seen them in black/yellow stripes before), but I'm not sure of its exact species. I talked to two of my colleagues earlier about it but they weren't sure, so I'll consult another of them tomorrow. 🙂
 
It was really windy and the rain was pouring down as we went on our walk, but it was nice to get out from the office for an hour. 

Now I'm off to a Kindle date!

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

tisdag 6 juni 2017

Celebrations

It's the National Day of Sweden today, and generally we don't really make a huge deal of that. We just get together with family and friends wearing flowers in our hair (optional) and eating strawberry cake with whipped cream, decorated with little Swedish flags. It's only been a national holiday since 2005, so I guess we're not quite clear yet on how to celebrate it! Our neighbors, Norway, are really great at celebrating their National Day (17/5) so we could learn a thing or two from them! But we have time! 
 
Had a little help from Snapchat adding those flowers to my hair. Didn't really wear any today. 😆
We haven't celebrated today at all in my little family. I've explained to my daughter what today was, but we didn't have cake (she might be the only child in the world that doesn't eat strawberries), but we enjoyed some ice cream at the playground and we did see quite a few Swedish flags on the way there. I was more happy about seeing the honeysuckle and the lilacs blooming. The scent of them mixing and lingering in the air as I walked away. 
 
So beautiful! ❤️
 
The lilacs is a true sign of summer don't you think! 👌🏻
Tomorrow I'm back at work again after nearly 4 days of. I had to work a few hours yesterday and today, but I was fine with it. There's just 12 workdays left before my 6 week summer vacation starts so I've got to make sure to handle everything before that and not leaving any loose ends! 

When are you leaving work for your summer vacation? Are you planning on doing anything special or just looking forward to some truly lazy days?

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

måndag 5 juni 2017

Reasons why

I've been watching this series on Netflix that occupies much of the space of my mind even after I turn of my tv. It's an original Netflix series:
 
I guess I'm not really the intended target group for this series, but I can't help to think maybe I should be. Being a mother and still fairly aware of my own teenage years, this is by far the most important thing I'll be watching to be able to prepare myself and my daughter for her teenage years. I do remember it being difficult years, scary even, growing up. A lot of existential questions going through my mind, and me questioning everything and everyone, and doubting myself and my abilities. It's a struggle, finding ones place in this world, and when you're a teenager it seems like an impossible task. 

I fear that these days, with social media being such a huge part of peoples lives, and in such early ages, the easy access into ones personal sphere is more threatening to your mental and physical health than ever before. And that is truly frightening for me as a parent. I know I can't protect my daughter from every danger/threat or her being exposed/in pain or even being targeted, but I will always be there for her. Whether she tells me to or not. I'll be the one she can always count on, trust or lean on. I will always catch her if she would ever stumble or fall. Loving her unconditionally and wholeheartedly. ❤️🙏🏻❤️

So, if you're a parent, or if you feel the need to understand the ways of todays teenage world, please take your time to watch this series. It's scary, it's sad and full of pain. It's a cry for help, and we need to learn to see and hear that cry to be able to aid those in need, no matter the age or the context. And we need to learn to talk about stuff like bullying, mental illnesses and how our young ones are being exposed and exploited online - with each other- but especially with our kids! 

For now though, I'm happily content with just making animals out of fir cones with my daughter!
 
Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

söndag 4 juni 2017

Pray for the world

It's a terrifying thought, that all these acts of terror and violence that is now hurting us more frequently then ever before, are here to stay. That they're to be something to expect and fear wherever we venture to in this world. Yesterday London was hit by yet another terrorist attack, and that is less than two weeks since the awful suicide bombing in Manchester, and not even three months since the terrorist attack in the vicinity of the Palace of Westminster and Westminster bridge, and only a month after the terrorist attack in Stockholm.

According to British press we've had as many as 533 terrorist attacks in the world 2017 already, with 3 627 fatalities. Why? I'm really, really struggling with the "why"! Am I such a unique person when thinking enough is enough? 

Let whatever injustices (religious, racial or otherwise) that has been hurting the people of this world - some for generations, rest. Leave them in the past by choosing forgiveness and love. Let go of hate! Let us make this world one of peace, understanding and happiness. Do not pass on your hurt, your anger, your need for revenge, your hate, your pain, your mistrust, your fears or your mistakes to those around you. Especially not to our children! 

Please, let go of pain, of hate and your need for vengeance. Let us all try to be better humans, embracing each other and choosing to cherish our diversities instead of fearing or hating them. Open your hearts, and your minds, and let them be touched by the people you once called your enemies. Or the ones you feared. Lay down your weapons, and let them be forgotten. 

Let the children play and embrace their amazing ability to see beyond the diversities, that strangely separates us when being adults. Follow their lead in loving each other wholeheartedly, no matter what we look like, where we're from or what we believe in. Let our children be our guides, with their unspoiled innocence. Let them show us the way - to teach us to love and respect each other again. To laugh, to feel safe and to be happy. To forgive, and to move on. 

Please, let us come together and make a change. Let love win! We're better than this! We humans are better than this! I know we are! ❤️🌎

Please!