onsdag 30 november 2016

Tiredness

I'm so, so tired. It feels like I haven't slept in days! My head is pounding and my body's aching. I feel old. Tired and old. Old and tired. And I look it. 🙁
 
But I won't scare you off by posting that truth in a picture! I got some help from Snapchat to hide reality! 

I've had a really great day at work today, and maybe that's partly why I'm so tired. I've been working really hard to make this a fulfilling and truly great day for my employees as we were away from the office to work with the business plan for 2017. I wanted the day to be inspiring, but also empowering and fun. I think I made that happen, and now my mind wants to rest, finally ready to relax. First I just need to say; I have the best employees and consultants ever! They did great today, and I feel really proud and humbled getting to work with such competent and high-achieving people! 2017 will be a great year. A year of change! I can feel it! đŸ’ȘđŸ»đŸ™đŸ»

So I'll be dating my Kindle tonight, and I'll probably fall asleep within minutes of reading. It's just one of those nights! 

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

tisdag 29 november 2016

Moving on

I've been thinking a lot on my decision on letting go of the pain of my past. Or rather how to follow through on that decision. It's an important process, and I need to get it right as I'm determined not to fall back into old tracks this time. The first step was to forgive. It was also the hardest part. I had promised my self never to do that. It was a large weight of my shoulders when I said the words, "I forgive you". I. FORGIVE. YOU. 
I forgive you. 
I.  f.o.r.g.i.v.e.  y.o.u.

I will never forget. It will never be ok, you just don't subject children, or adults for that matter, for that kind of humiliation, fear and pain. You just don't. 

But you did, and now I forgive you. 

But what is the next step? How do I move on from here? I've left the light burning in the dark places in my heart and I'm letting all the love from friends and family supporting me in this, fill up the empty spaces. I feel strong! I feel loved! And I feel empowered! I just want to make sure I stay on this path! 
But maybe time will tell what comes next! Maybe I should just let time pass and stay confident that I got this. That this time, I got it covered! ❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

mÄndag 28 november 2016

Overwhelmed

I'm speechless! My heart is bursting with joy! I've got such amazing response on my last blog entry about letting go, that I'm completely overwhelmed! And proud! And happy! A big thank you to everyone of you that sent me such beautiful words of encouragement and love, it means the world to me! I didn't know so many of you cared and wanted to support me in this although not knowing the whole story. I feel truly blessed to have all of you in my life! Thank you! ❤️
 
There are only a handful of people in this world that knows the whole story about the now historical events that made my world dark for so many years. I will not share the details of what happened, although I know some would like me to. Those I feel need to know, do, and the rest will just have to accept the fact that they're on a need-to-know basis, and nowhere near the details. The lessons in this were mine to learn and I'm not at all convinced that it would help anyone else to know about that. Especially now when I've made peace with it and moved on. 

Before I leave you today I would like to say thanks to the people who has helped me through this process, starting with some truly bad, chaotic and damaging chain of events more than 20 years ago. The nightmares, the hours of doubt and pain, the darkness, the hate and the fear. I won't mention you by name, but you now exactly who you are! From the bottom of my heart, with all the love that I possess; thank you! You've put a smile in my heart! ❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

söndag 27 november 2016

Letting go

Pain. And fear. And hate. I've lived so long with those feelings entwined with the very essence of my being. I've let the darkness of it consume me and put me to a halt in life. Over and over again. Not because I didn't see a way out, sometimes I think I've even seen it clearly, but because I was afraid of what would be left of me if I did. Fear. Hurt.

On different levels, I believe we all carry these feelings, and we're all affected differently by them. Some seem to just shake them off, while others linger and dwell in the pain and fear. I made them stay. Deep inside, hidden. And I let them occupy too much space. So much that it made me powerless against them. 

These feelings are deeply connected to this one awful person no longer a part of my life, and they've grown roots in my heart that has poisoned my judgment and my self confidence for over twenty years. I let go of the power to control it, because of hate. And the fear of loosing. Completely. I thought holding on made me still a part of the fight, and I didn't realise that it made me the looser. Still. Sometimes they lay dormant, letting me taste freedom - a life without them - but they always came back. With a vengeance. Hurting me more than ever. 

But something has happened. For the first time, ever, I feel empowered, strong and capable. A close friend told me I needed to let go to be whole again, that holding on wasn't the answer to my need for peace, and for some reason something changed with those words. I wanted them to be true! So badly. It made me realise that I will never win this fight, because it isn't a competition in the first place. I've made it one, to fight my way back, but it was never meant to be a competition. It was a need for vengeance, and my friend made me realise that the vengeance isn't mine to deliver. And finally, I accept that. I've looked on this the wrong way, letting me loose control. 
 
So, friends, I'm letting go. Today. I will tear those roots out of the dark place in my heart and I will make it whole again. I will let it mend with love, trust and happiness. I will let faith embrace the wounds and they will heal, I know this with certainty. ❤️ I will let peace inside that darkness and I will embrace the change - not be frightened by it. I will let light burn in the darkness so that I don't fear the memories of pain, and I will be proud that I survived and let go of what made me weak. And I will cherish the strength born from the hurt and I will carry the lessons I've learned knowing they took me here. To this point in life and to finally letting go. 

I. Forgive. You.
It's not ok, and I will never forget the hurtful things you did. But I forgive you.

I will end this entry with a quote from Mr Franklin D. Roosevelt, which also helped me make the decision of letting go today:

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

lördag 26 november 2016

The colour of your soul

I went to the movies this afternoon with mini-me, her cousins and my sister, to see "Trolls". Such a cute little movie and there are some really good pointers and life lessons to ponder on afterwards, hidden beneath the layers of the dialogue suited for children! Maybe not if you're four years old, like my daughter, but we grown ups could really gain some perspectives, well worth the extra time. And the music in the movie was great! I even found my self dancing in my chair from time to time! 😜
 
One of the things they said in the movie kind of struck a note in my heart, and I've been thinking a lot about that ever since. I'm not sure about the exact words, but they talked about finding your happy place and being able to see the colour of each other's souls as something life changingly important. Of course these cute little trolls all have different colours (which they can loose), being a huge part of that statement, but it got me thinking that we all have different colours to our souls and hopefully a happy place somewhere out there too. To me, that happy place is me either reading or writing, but where I choose to do that doesn't really matter. It could be in bed, on a train or at the beach, the physical spot is not operative, the reading or writing is.
 
And the colour of my soul? Well, truthfully, I would like it to be a pure and innocently white or a burning and intense red or pink. But I'm probably closer to a silent gray or a blinding black, and I'm ok with that. I'm proud of who I am and the different depths and layers of my soul, heart and mind. Besides, seeing the colour of someone's soul, isn't about seeing an actual colour, at least not to me. I don't believe it's about that kind of shallowness even in this movie. To me it's about being able to see the very essence of a persons soul. Its needs, sorrows, love, pain, fears, desires, joys, longings, lies and its truths. The very core! And to do that, you need to be let inside. And you need to want to open up your walls! You have to be open, and able to share that what might be unknown even to yourself. And that's the beauty of it. 

I know it's hard. It's extremely hard, to be frank. At least to me. I have no problem entering through someone else's walls, but letting people into mine...that's what's hard! I've told you this before, I'm very specific with whom I interact with, at least regarding these kinds of trust levels. But, after watching "Trolls", I'll be thinking about the how and the why, trying to sort myself out. Maybe my walls will be opening sooner then I thought they would be! ❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

fredag 25 november 2016

A complex mix of colours

I just might look gray on the outside at times, like today, but on the inside I'm a complex mix of colours. There's simply more to me than the eye can see! 😉
 
I think we all are! And if we're lucky, we get to see and experience that, up close, with some of all the amazing people living in this beautiful world of ours! ❤️

Just saying! Keep an open mind. And don't judge a book by its cover - and no human either! 😜

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

torsdag 24 november 2016

Making this day count

Today is Thanksgiving in the US. We don't celebrate that holiday here in Sweden, so there will be no turkey 🩃 on my dinner table tonight. Unfortunately! I love turkey. But that would be a true waste of good food as it's just me and mini-me at home this week. 

Sweden is generally very pro-America and all their traditions and ways. Like Halloween, that nowadays is celebrated here too, or "Black Friday" which has exploded this year - every store I know and don't know is campaigning their Black Friday sales. But Thanksgiving has yet to work its magic and find its way into our Swedish homes. If there were any holiday celebrations I would welcome into our Swedish culture, Thanksgiving would be it. Giving thanks for what you have seems to be such a nice thing to do with your family and friends. And I've heard, and read, about people helping those in need, and those without family or friends close by. Coming together and opening their hearts just because they can. That is so beautiful and gives me hope that someday love will prevail! 
 
But, as I said, for now we do not celebrate Thanksgiving. I will, however, celebrate it in my own way, listing everything I'm grateful and thankful for in my life. People and things. Traits and feelings. Memories. Anything, really! And while I do that I will be thankful for the delicious guacamole and nachos that I'll be having for dinner! 
 
So, friends, a happy Thanksgiving to all of you, wherever you might be in the world and whether you celebrate this holiday or not! 

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

onsdag 23 november 2016

Seeing things clearly

I got my new reading glasses today, so for the first time in weeks I see things clearly! 😆
 
I even got a pair of sunglasses with prescription glass so that I can use them when reading in the sun! I've always missed that I couldn't read in the sun without my glasses and really needing to protect my eyes from the light. But now that won't be a problem! So, I think I might be ready for my trip to Vietnam now! đŸ˜ƒđŸ‘đŸ»

Besides that, I had a really productive day at work today! Love that feeling of accomplishment when leaving work! I need more of that! Everyone could use a little more of that! It's a great feeling! 

Now I'm off to watch Netflix before turning in for the night!

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

tisdag 22 november 2016

idiocy

I've been active on social medias for at least the last 15 years (yes, I'm THAT old)! And years before that I enjoyed meeting new people in different chat forums and chat rooms online! In fact I'm still friends with some of those people, and greatful for it. But not once during all these years have I been met with as much disrespect and idiocy as I was today! And I refuse to be thankful for all those years without being treated disrespectfully, I'm still furious over this one isolated event that happened today! I deserve nothing less than being treated respectfully and kind - every damn day! We all do! No one, and I mean NO ONE, should ever need to be exposed to this kind of shit (excuse my language)! 😡 I'm not going to tell you in detail about what happened, but it involved snaps (a lot), a but naked man and some true nastyness! In a very bad way!

Of course I've blocked this person from my account, but as I know nothing about this person, not even a name - only his alias - I'm not sure that my action will make him stop. I've done what I can and I've reported him and his account, the rest is up to Snapchat. 

I will never tolerate or accept that kind of behaviour and I will never understand it! It's beyond me that anyone would think that it was ok to do that, to expose another person for anything close to that behaviour, without asking. It makes me furiously mad! 

I'm not making this a man against woman thing, although I could. To me this is as simple as it gets, you just don't behave like that regardless of being a man or woman. And I'm sure there are nasty and disrespectful women out there too. So if by chance any of you read this; just stop! Just. Stop. This is not how we treat each other! We're not animals! We're human beings! We should all know better!

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 


mÄndag 21 november 2016

Headache

I'll keep it short; I've got a headache! So, needless to say, I'm resting my head! Doing as little as possible.
 
 
I'll make more time for you tomorrow!

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

söndag 20 november 2016

Family day

I've spent the day with the best! My family. My mother, my youngest brother, my sister and her family. They all came to visit us in our new apartment, but also to celebrate my husband who celebrates his 40th birthday later this week. I loved having them all here, so much love gathered together in one place! ❤️

After they all left I spent the rest of the afternoon in front of Netflix (yes, I'm still tired since the wine drinking on Friday) while mini-me played with the cats. Sometimes I think the cats fear her, but at times like today I just know they love her! She can be a bit rough wanting to carrying them around all the time, but mostly they're the best of friends. 
 
Now I've put mini-me to bed and I've snuggled up in bed continuing my Netflix date from earlier. I've just started to watch a new serie, "The Expanse". A bit scary so far, but I like it! đŸ‘đŸ»

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

lördag 19 november 2016

Post-girlsnightout

I didn't get much sleep last night. Feeling happy and full of energy after my dinner with the girls I didn't get into bed until after 03:00. And my precious little girl woke me up around 07:00. So, needless to say, I feel a bit tired today. And all that wine drinking might have had something to do with it as well! 😜
 
So this will be a slow Saturday, for sure. I might not even move from the couch! 😂

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

fredag 18 november 2016

My girls

Today I've had two of my girlfriends over for dinner and some girl talk! So much fun and so much love! ❤️
 
Me and my big "sis"! She "adopted" me as a younger sister years back, and she's the best, most caring and fun sis you'll ever find! ❤️
 
And this amazingly beautiful girl is one of the toughest you'll ever meet! She could really kick your ass! But she's also one of the best and loving persons you'll ever find! ❤️
 
And here we are, the three of us! We had such a great night! Laughing like crazy one minute and being serious the next! It's two in the morning and I'm still not in bed. I'm lost in thoughts about all our conversations tonight. You're the best girls, love you to the moon and back! ❤️

Laters babes! 

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

torsdag 17 november 2016

Morning views

I have this beautiful view over the city from my kitchen window. Overlooking the towers of the cathedral of Uppsala and two other, a lot smaller, churches in the city and the castle (I'll be sure to take a picture of them for you some day). But mostly I enjoy the view of the open skies. ❤️
 
I've had a crazy day at work, so I'm resting my body and mind by dating my Kindle. That means that this entry will be short! Ending...now!

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

onsdag 16 november 2016

People of great importance

Sometimes you meet people that change the ways of your world. Probably quite unexpectedly and unplanned. They just enter your life and gives you perspectives you didn't even know you were lacking. They might even turn the world upside down for a moment or two! They'll inspire you to action and to change. Wholeheartedly. Maybe not big changes, at least not on the outside, but on the inside you just might be moving mountains! So keep them close and embrace them in your heart! They're probably more important than you realise! 
 
And what do you know, you could be that person to someone out there, inspiring to change and action, without even realising it. :)

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

tisdag 15 november 2016

Greeeat day

I had a greeeat morning today! I overslept, was late dropping of mini-me at kindergarten and then got stuck in traffic! Yeay! And I was hungry as hell as I hadn't had time to eat my breaky before leaving home! Just a smashing start to my day, don't you think! But! The best thing with having a bad start, is that it can only get better from there! So eventually I had a really productive and good day!
 
And after taking a bubble bath in my new tub 🛀 while listening to a really great podcast with a favourite of yours, well then it's just a perfect day! ❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

mÄndag 14 november 2016

Great achievements

I know I talk a lot of my grandparents, and particularly my grandfather, here on the blog. They've ment a lot to me, and still does, so it's a natural thing to do. To honour them by writing about the efforts they've made to fill my life with love and happiness.

Of course they're not alone in doing that. Both my parents have been fighting hard to do the same during the years. As I wrote about daddy yesterday, I thought I would tell you about my mother today. :)
My beautiful mother! ❤️

I was always mummys girl when growing up. Sort of still am I guess! Mom has said quite a few times through the years that my sister always stayed grounded, steadily with both feet firmly on the ground, while I was soaring in the air just above. I've always been a dreamer, and in someways I owe thanks to my mother for allowing me to keep soaring above ground although I ought to have tried to put my feet back down. To let me dream. To let me live in my world of fantasies. I think it's because you in parts are just like me, mum! And I think you knew you had to let me be, and just see to it that I was safe while doing so. I imagine you could relate to that need inside of me that I had to feed with all my strange actions, thoughts, beliefs and fantasies. My very essence needed it.

So thank you mum, for letting me grow up there, above ground, to let me go wherever the winds would carry me. And most of all thank you for making me feel safe and so loved by you! Thank you for believing in my abilities, in my dreams and in me! Thank you for sometimes pushing me although I didn't know I needed it, and thank you for letting me make my own mistakes. Thank you for trusting in me and thank you for all the sacrifices you've had to make to keep us all safe and happy! I love you! We, all four of your children, love you! You're the greatest! ❤️

Love,
K

söndag 13 november 2016

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day here in Sweden, so I'll take this opportunity to speak freely to my father.

Dear daddy,
We have had a rocky road, being separated by a divorce when I was very young. You and my brother moved in one direction, while mum, my sister and I chose a different path of life. I'm sure that you would have been a really great and present father, had you been in my life constantly. But now, all these years later, I still carry on a great sense of loss. The loss of you. I never truly learned how it felt like, always having you close. Being dependent on you. Trusting you to be there to keep me up when stumbling through life. I'm not saying you aren't a great dad, because in your own special way you are! I can see all the efforts you've made when growing up to prove your love to me, to us children. And I cherish that! Truly. Always being there as a family when needed. But I miss being close to you! So much. And secretly I grieve that I can't trust you to be here for me, now. I still need you to comfort me when crying, and holding me close to your heart when being afraid. I want to laugh with you until my cheeks hurt from smiling. I want to sit next to you in silence and rest in your presence. I might be an adult (old lady), but in my heart I'm still that little child that misses her daddy! I want to tell you my secrets, but I'm afraid you won't listen! 

It's hard to say I love you, and mean it from the bottom of your heart. I know this. And I know you've tried to show me in actions rather then in so many words, but just this once I would love to hear you say it! And you could whisper, daddy, I promise I'll listen close enough to hear it! 

It's Father's Day and I want you to know that I love you! From the very depths of my heart. No matter what! No matter why! No matter how. You will always be my number one! 

With love,
K

 

lördag 12 november 2016

Best friends

I don't have a lot of close friends. In fact, I can easily count them on one hand. And that is exactly how I want it to be. The friends I keep close to my heart are the persons I know I can trust, who never betrays my trust and that loves me unconditionally. One of those friends is Jezz. We've not known each other for a lifetime, like some of my other BFFs, but when we met it was instant love! I knew right away that I needed to have her in my life! Beginning of 2017 we celebrate a five year friendship but sometimes I feel I must have known her in a previous life because she knows me so well. We're so much alike it's crazy! ❤️
 
We have so much to talk about that I always feel time's too short when we get together! Jezz, you're the sweetest, kindest, most loving and most beautiful woman/friend/mother I know! Always with a smile on your face and with something interesting to say! So caring and thoughtful! And not to forget, the best interior designer I know! And my God, your chocolate cakes are to die for! I'm so thankful that you came into my life, and that you found your way into my heart so very fast! You're simply the best and I feel so lucky to be one of your friends! I love you, babe! ❤️

And to clarify, I do have a lot of friends, but I don't consider them all to be close friends. I'm very particilar when admitting new friends inside my heart, and I just don't believe my heart have room for many more then the ones I keep there now. Not everyone can fit in that special place. Some have been there and then left, for different reasons. Some I've pushed out, and some left by their own will. Some left without a trace, and some left a trail of longing behind. But I trust in the thought of some people only being ment to be a part of your life for a specific time or process. No matter how strong the love and friendship is, it was just ment to last for when you needed it the most! A week, a month, a year, the time frame doesn't really matter. But that doesn't mean that the love was lost on you, or gone for that matter, but its purpose was fulfilled! I know for sure I have quite a few of those relationships in my past. And I'm proud to have had those people in my life, but I also accept that they weren't ment to stay. 
And I've been that friend too. The one leaving because I wasn't ment to stay, but also the one not fitting the place of someone's heart. It's not always without pain, but it's always a lesson worth learning and to be thankful for. 
 
Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss

fredag 11 november 2016

Secrets

I've talked about secrets, my secrets, a few times before. Some of those secrets are kept untold, hidden in dark places within my heart. Never ment to see the light of day, ever again. Following me to my grave.  Others I've let go off and told to a few, carefully selected friends and family. Being brave and trying to eliminate the dark spots in my heart.

Most of my secrets I have chained to my heart out of fear. But I'm not afraid of the secret in itself, not all at least, I could probably live with them being out in the open. But I fear how knowing those secret would effect the way people act around me, and maybe the way they feel about me. Does that make any sense at all? 
 
This is what I don't want to see happening; I don't want you to think any less of me. I don't want you to pity me. I don't want you to fear me. I don't want you to be afraid of hurting me. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't want you to feel unsure of how to act around me. I don't want you to change!!! I want you to love/like me just as you did - before knowing. I'm still the same person you knew weeks, months and years back. 

My secrets may (most definitely) have contributed to me being where I am today, to whom I've become, but they do not define me, not anymore, although they might have once. They are really just reminders of what once happened, to me, and for the most part I try to view them as lessons. Lessons of life. Some I learn from others I do not. 

So, some secrets I choose to keep hidden, because I fear the world changing around me if I let them out of their chains. Others I let go off. And if I open my door to let you inside, please don't change!

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

torsdag 10 november 2016

I'm over it

It's a new day! New possibilities! New opportunities! And I'm over yesterday! It might go down in history as one of the worlds biggest mistakes, Only the future will tell, but let's focus on making this world a better place regardless of leadership in charge! Right here, right now! WE have the power of changing the world! Of filling it with love, acceptance, forgiveness and peace. WE can come together and help those in need, to aid those hurt and protect those threatened! WE are all equals! WE can build a world, together, where there'll be no hate, no war, no threats, no shame and no violence! Where we treat each other with respect, with humbleness and with faithfulness. We do not ridicule, exclude or alienate! And we embrace, we love and we care for the planet on which we live upon! 
 
Wholeheartedly! Bravely! And daring greatly! ❤️ 

I'm starting off eating to much chocolate! Happy heart, happy mind! #killingonecravingwithanother

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss

onsdag 9 november 2016

A terrible day

Just give me a day to gather my thoughts!

This is an epic failure to us all, and I need a day, just 24 hours, to comprehend and accept this. Meanwhile I'll keep on smiling and believe in the power of love. A smile can change someone's life, but it might also be this planets salvation. 

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

tisdag 8 november 2016

A day of great importance

Today is a day of great importance, for our entire planet. It's not "just another election" in the States, maybe it's never been that, but this Election Day will effect us all, greatly! It will effect the future of our planet and the future of mankind!

Why? Well, because one of the candidates doesn't even believe in global warming and climate change. He actually doesn't believe, or trust, the worlds most leading scientists that states facts about rapidly increasing temperatures (both in air and water), dying coral reefs and melting polar ice! This is the most important issue for me in this election, the only relevant question to get an answer to! How do we come together and save our planet? It's absurd and ignorant not to face the facts, and if I'd stoop to this mans level I would call him something nasty and degrading right about now (because that is what he does to women, immigrants and Muslims among others). But I won't! I'm not that kind of a human being and woman. I feel sorry for him, living in a world so filled with hate, ignorance and disrespect. Those are core values to me! I respect other people, no matter where they come from and although not always agreeing or liking their opinions. I do not hate and alienate, especially not people who are in pain and/or need my help. I believe that knowledge is power, and together with love and humility that will lead to change! To peace. To a healthy planet! 

So in all of this I just try to believe that this "ignorance" he shows about climate change either is a publicity trick - he knows the truth but he's trying to get votes from those with money that wants to see the business with fossil fuels expand not decrease as we should invest our future in renewable resources like solar panels and wind power to stop climate change. Or maybe he wants votes from the people who simply doesn't care about the environment? The other option, that  he just don't believe in it, is to unthinkable for me to grasp! Or could it be, that some kind of really, really big mistake was done when interpreting the scientific research either by his team or himself! Highly unlikely, right! But I don't know.
 
Either way! To me there is only one alternative in this election because I want my daughter, my future grandchildren and their grandchildren to live peacefully and safe, as equals on this planet, still enjoying its amazing nature and people from all around the world! 

So, I suggest we all put a smile on our faces today and that we treat each other with kindness and respect, although we're bound to feel/think differently about the choices we'll be making regarding our future! 

I also recommend that you all watch Mr Leonardo DiCaprios documentary "Before the Flood" before casting your vote today! Maybe you think none of the candidates are good enough to vote for, so vote for our future instead. Ignore the name of the two candidates, the gender, the scandals, the gossiping! Vote for our planet! Vote for humankind! That is the most important question of all! How do I help save our planet?

Laters babes!

Over and out 
Pusspuss 

mÄndag 7 november 2016

One of those days

I'm super tired today, due to a really busy day! And unfortunately the rest of my week will look just about the same. I've even been forced to schedule meetings over lunch, which I really don't like doing. I really need my lunch break to reload my batteries, and that means I need to take a break from work. But, this week I just had to work over lunch too (I will be eating during the meeting - I still need food) as the hours of my days are to few (too short)! 
 
So I'm reloading my batteries now instead (had one of those meetings over lunch). Flat on my back on the couch. I'd like to read but my eyes are bothering me (might need new glasses again), so my Kindle date will have to wait an hour or two! I'm planning on just closing my eyes and think of nothing at all! Yeah, right, as if that's going to happen! 😝

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss

söndag 6 november 2016

Team spirit

I played soccer when I was younger. Twelve years (or maybe it was fourteen?) I played with the same girls, and what a great team we were! 
 
We played in different weeklong soccer tournaments every summer, and going abroad to do so quite a few times. And my, did we work hard to be able to do so! The rest of the year was filled with different activities to get sponsors or, like the Girl Scouts, selling this or that. In the picture above we played in Portsmouth, England, and that was truly my favourite tournament, we had so much fun! 

I'm still friends with most of the girls, and we've been talking about having a reunion but it hasn't happened yet! Fingers crossed we'll make it happen by next summer! 

And if anyone of you were wondering, we weren't just great girls, we played great too! We didn't win the tournament in England, but we got the silver medal! And I was awarded the prize for being the tournaments best player in our age group! Still makes my heart beat extra hard with pride! 😊

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss

lördag 5 november 2016

Honouring the ones lost

Today is All Saints Eve here in Sweden. A day to honour your lost ones. Those who have left this world and entered heaven or hell, if you prefer. I'm not sure I believe in either heaven or hell, but I want to believe that we're not lost for all eternity when we pass, like a light is turned off, never to be lit again. I trust in the thought of once again being able to feel my grandfathers arms around my shoulders and his loving voice greeting me. 

So today we lit the candles on the graves of our dead and we keep them close in our hearts and minds. Remembering them and their love. My grandparents grave is over two hours away by car, and I won't be able to visit. So I'll lit a candle here, at home, and I'll keep it burning all through the night. 

I've seen those building shrines of their dead ones, but I'm convinced that is not what my granddad would have wanted. To manifest our grief and longing in something physical like that. He wanted us to live on, happy and content. Thinking of him, for sure, remembering him and grandma with a smile. I know he would have wanted us visiting the grave because we wanted to be closer to them, not because we felt forced or that the grave needed maintenance, like new flowers. My shrine is in my heart, and in my heart my grandparents will live on forever. I will keep them close and treasure my memories that they've given me while growing up, together with the abundance of love they filled my heart with.

I've tried many times to tell you about my amazing grandparents, but I know I've still to do them justice. Sometimes I doubt I ever will. But, as I told a friend the other day, the one person in my entire life that I have always told the truth, is my granddad. He might not have known all my secrets, but I told him the truth. And maybe it was simple because many of those truths were written in a letter and not said out loud (we were pen pals from when I first learned how to write until he lost the ability to read - he was almost blind when he passed). But either way, they were told and he always responded to them. And he stayed truthful to me over all those years, answering my every question with the truth although knowing I might not want to hear it. Both those naively written from a nine year old girls perspective and those from an adult and fully aware woman. And some of those truths might have been hard for him to utter at all, because some were old and long since buried secrets that he for some reason felt safe enough to let me in on. And I was, still am, thankful for his trust! 
 
So, I'll make this day all about remembering them both. Filling my heart with loving memories as I go down memory lane. I will love you forever! ❤️
 
Over and out
Pusspuss

fredag 4 november 2016

Easily pleased

I don't really need much! My Kindle and a hot chai latte and I'm as happy as a child on Christmas! ❤️
 
A blanket over my knees and some soft pillows behind my back makes it even more perfect! 

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss

torsdag 3 november 2016

A long day

Some days at work just feels so much longer than others although you haven't worked more hours then you usually do. Today was such a day for me! And I know exactly why it felt long. It's really simple, I barely had time to breath today and although occupied by meetings almost all day and being focused and attentive at those, I knew the workload waiting for me at my desk! So, when I was done with all my meetings I still had a ton of things to work through, which I of course failed to deliver on! This means I will have to work a few hours tomorrow although I'm supposed to take the day off as we're celebrating All Saints Eve here in Sweden. But! I don't mind. I love my work, and sitting at my home desk working doesn't feel like a bad thing.
 
And besides, working from home means I could work in my pjs! That I like! 😜

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss 

onsdag 2 november 2016

Old acquaintances

Today I met up with a former coach and leader of a leadership program I attended a few years back, and a lot of different things went through my mind during our two hour meeting. In a way to sort them out for myself, I thought I would share them with you. My insights. They are in no way revolutionary or unheard of, quite the opposite, but important to me nevertheless. So here we go:

1. The comfort and trust once gained with certain people (that are genuine and true), remains years after they're build. Even though you didn't keep in touch or if your situation has changed during the years. 

2. Trust and comfort makes me feel safe, and for the first time in ages, I believe in finding a solutions to old and deep-seated problems. Feeling safe gives me courage and confidence.

3. When you find the courage to believe in a solution, and thereby regaining your confidence - you're willing to try ways either untried before or that might challenge you or have the potential of showing your faults/insecurities. With the right tools and support you'll find the means to go through even the most challenging tasks.

4. Wholeheartedness and vulnerability - the acceptance of - is what makes us strong. Knowledge and experience will guide us. 

5. There's always a solution, even when you doubt there is, you just need help to see or find it sometimes! 

6. If someone trust in you, and you trust in them,  everything is possible! 

7. Cherish and nurture the relationships that will help you grow and meet change with a smile!
 
I have a few more personal insights, but I think I'll save them for myself. I'm just so thankful for having these amazing people in my life and for the opportunity to learn and be inspired by them! They make me a better person! A better leader. They make me believe in myself and my abilities! They give me tools to be and do better, and they guide me when needed. If you have a person like this in your life, be sure to keep them there!

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss

tisdag 1 november 2016

Taking care of those you love

Mini-me is still not well. Her fever hasn't gone down and during the night she complained about pain in her stomach, which eventually made her threw up late morning. Since then the stomach pains are gone (fingers crossed) and the fever and a slight throat pain is what's still bothering her. I've been at work today and it's really a challenge to stay focused on the tasks in front of you when you know your little girl is home sick. But she was taken care of the best daddy in the world so I really didn't need to worry. It's just that mummy-thing I guess, wanting/needing to take care of your loved ones!

Now I'm home and taking care of my little baby. She'll be home with her father tomorrow as well, and I'll try to stay focused on my work! 
 
After mini-me has gone to bed tonight, I'm dating my Kindle again. I had promised myself not to buy new books for a while, and instead put myself down in front of my computer and finishing my own book. But...I just really, really, really love reading books! I couldn't resist! ❤️

Laters babes!

Over and out
Pusspuss