lördag 8 oktober 2016


I dreamt about my grandfather last night. He was trying to tell me something but I wasn't able to hear or understand him. It was very frustrating and really heartbreaking, and I felt sad when I woke up. Like I needed to hear what he was trying to tell me, like it was more important than anything. So this morning he's in my thoughts constantly and I miss him terribly!
I know I've told you this before, but both my grandfather and grandmother were really important in my life as I grew up. A safe heaven of sorts. There are a lot of reason of why, and I won't get in to all of them, some are just to private and some probably not interesting enough to talk about. But, they anchored me and made me feel safe, and that was a big part of why! And of course their unconditional love ❤️ for me. 
My grandfather was a writer and a poet. He would walk by my open window at night as he was going into the park to sit on a bench and write. I would listen to the sound of his steps on the gravel path and longing to go with him! I knew exactly where he would sit down and I knew he would wait for his companion in the night, an owl that sat in the magnificent oak just beside the bench. And there he would spend hours writing and thinking, and how I wished I could have sit next to him then! I remember trying my best to stay awake until he came back, but I don't think I ever made it happen. Much of whom I've become is because of him! I have the same restless soul that he had and I wished I had a bench of my own to go to at night. I'm sure that I too would make magic happen in the company of an owl! ❤️

He died a few years back, and I still miss him every single day. I can still remember his scent and the sound of his heartbeat as I felt it when resting my head on his chest when he hugged me! And as he's not here anymore I cherish those memories and keep him alive in my mind and heart! And inside of me, he's always sitting on that bench, happy and content, in the company of the night and the sounds and creatures that gave his restless soul some peace!

I love you, granddad! ❤️ I hope I get the message tonight! Please try again! 

Over and out 

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