Twelve years ago one of my best friends in life died. I know there are a lot of people that doesn't understand this particular type of friendships, and to me "friendship" is just not a strong enough term to describe our relationship. To me it was more like a great love, like the one you share with a close member of your family. And I guess that's what many people doesn't understand, as this special friend/family member was my dog, Bellman.
He was a mixed breed, most part German Shepard and Labrador retriever. I got him when he was eight weeks old and it was love at first sight! You know how they tell you not to choose the puppy who walks away and wants to be left alone? The one who doesn't run up to you and through themselves in your face! Well, I chose that puppy, because after our eyes met I knew he was the one! He lived faithfully by my side 11 years, one of few things constant during those years, and I loved him more than I could ever begin to describe!
Today when going through some old boxes I found pictures of him, and the terrible loss I felt when he died struck me hard again. My heart has been aching all day and I think of him constantly. He was my best friend, always super aware of my state of mind, comforting me when being sad or lonely, loving me when I needed it the most, always goofy and funny and putting a smile on my face. And always, always protecting me! He turned to me to get a sign if anyone approaching was a friend or foe! Sometimes he just new without confirming, and sometimes he decided against me telling him it was a friend, and growling or barking as a clear warning. So, we weren't always on the same page about other humans 😜, and until this day I still wonder if he'd been right or not, sensing something I couldn't. I guess I'll never know.
I can still remember the feel of his fur on my fingers. His soft ears and cheeks that he loved when I caressed. I can remember his scent and the feeling of him lying next to me in bed, back to back, keeping me warm and safe. His wet nose kissing me happily whenever I got home from being out (even if it had been only minutes). I remember his sounds, he was very talkative, and the way he put his head heavily in my lap to get my attention. But mostly I remember all the love that he gave me, just by looking at me with those beautiful eyes. There will never be another him, I know that. I've tried to find that kind of love again, with a new dog (now living with my ex husband), but it just isn't the same. My mother told me when Bellman died, that buying a new dog wouldn't bring him back, and somewhere deep down I think I knew that. But the loss of him was so hard, I felt I wouldn't even live through it if I'm going to be honest. And I also felt back then that there couldn't be a greater way to honour his memory than by buying a new dog. It was like saying "you were the greatest dog in the world and I can't live without that kind of love that you gave me, so therefore I'm going to buy a new dog that can carry on that torch of love". But, that's not how it works. I get that now. We had a special bond, and I'm not sure I will ever have that again. And in some ways I'm afraid to be disappointed if I were to ever buy a dog again. I want to feel the same kind of love, but with a new dog that could give me new memories and adventures. I'm just afraid that there will be no new bond, just an ordinary "love connection", and I'm not sure it would be enough. Not after 11 years with my boy, Bellman.
Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I will never forget it. Feeling him slipping and surcome to the lethal injection that the vet gave him. Hearing his heart stop beating and see the light in his eyes vanish. As he left I kissed him and whispered in his ears how much I loved him and how important he was to me. And I lay crying beside him long after he had passed. He had not been sick a day in his life but the last week in his life I noticed something was wrong. He never left my side and he didn't have the energy to be happy about a visit from my sister whom he loved, but most importantly he didn't want to eat and go on our usual walks. So I took him to the vet, and he never came back home with me again. They found cancer in his tummy and there were nothing to be done. It was to late. I hope he didn't feel pain from the tumour, he never showed me if he did. I lay in bed a whole week crying, holding his collar in my hands. I think of him every day and I hope that he's happy in heaven, chasing balls and chewing on sticks, knowing what an impact he still has in my life. How important he was back then and how greatful I am for having had him in my life. ❤️
I'm literally lying in my hammock writing you this entry. How great is that! I love summer! I'm totally relaxed and in vacay mode! The day has been lazy and slow so far, and I love it!
I just wished the hammock were right next to a Caribbean beach with palm trees next to it! But, I have to admit, this is more than enough! Mini-me's at her aunties playing with her cousin and I date my Kindle in the hammock!
Morris the cat has not left the yard since she got attacked by our neighbors cat, but right now she seems to have gathered some courage because she sits just outside the fence! 😜
She's been hunting butterflies all day and she brings the ones she catch to me. When I praise her she gets super proud and when I'm done cuddling with her she plays with them a short while before eating them! 😁
A true hunter, no catch and release for her! Charlie the cat rarely catch anything, not even flies. But he's a great observer and loves to lay watching what's happening in his hoods!
Now I've got to dive into my Kindle again, the story beckons!
Over and out
Ps. For those of you who might have been wondering, "pusspuss" ought to be separated as two words and means "kiss kiss" in English, but I like putting them togheter and the translation is the same. 😄
We're back home again! Yesterday became a day filled with travel and I had little to share with you from that, so I decided not to write you at all.
Today started off with a four hour drive home from my parents in law, but now we're finally back home where we belong! Missing the sun and warmth from Barcelona though! The rain has followed us all through the Swedish countryside and the sky is still heavy with rain clouds although the rain has stopped for now. The cats stayed in like five minutes before venturing out and taking back control over their territory! Rain or no rain, they seem happy to be home!
No makeup today, which is a big thing for me (as some of you know), and I'm constantly fighting the urge to put it on! Putting a face on. My face. But, somewhere inside I know I got to learn to accept myself the way I truly look, without that game face! Maybe it'll come with age. The need not to cover up or hide behind make up. Who knows. But, I'm surely not there yet, so these "naked" pictures will continue on being rare on this blog!
Now I'm off to my sister! Haven't seen them in a month so there will be some long and living hugs with my sister and nieces! ❤️
Although staying in the shade the entire day I managed to get sunburned this last day of vacay in Barcelona! But, it's not super bad, just a hint of pink/red on my legs. It must have been all the walking in the sun that finally got to me! 😜
I think I might never again, after today, be able to say that the beach back home is cramped with people! It was crazy at the beach today! There where literally no place left on the beach to lay down on! We got there early so we got the best sun beds in the front row, right next to the sea! But it seems that everyone went for the beach today, and somehow they all found a spot! 😂
We left around four and went to a great restaurant at the end of the beach, Onac.
Don't miss this place if you visit Barcelona! Super nice in all the ways that counts! Great food, super nice staff and lovely environment! And affordable prices although situated so close to the beach! You find them at Instagram: @onac_bcn
I'm not a great drinker, but I do like a good mojito, and that's what I got there today! Just the right amount of alcohol (which is the main ingredient that I kind of don't like the taste of) and great taste of brown sugar, mint and lime! 👍🏻 Thumbs up (although I didn't finish it all)!
And then we had this amazing burger with poached egg, bacon, cheddar cheese and potata bravas! I actually think that this is the only dish, besides the paella I had our first day, that felt like proper food! A full meal! Don't get me wrong, I love tapas! I do! But it always feels like I haven't eaten, just nibbled on something, when I'm finished! And! As I don't eat gluten, it isn't much on the menus that I've been able to order! They're really bad at gluten free alternatives here in Spain! We went to McDonalds yesterday just to get us a burger but they had nothing to serve me as they didn't have gluten free bread and they couldn't offer me an gluten free alternative. That was a surprise! And as many of the small restaurants we've visited had no one in the staff speaking English and I don't speak Spanish, it's been really hard to find out what's safe to order and what's not! But at Onac nothing of that was a problem! We understood each other well and they made and served the burger without any bread! And it was really good!
Tomorrow we're going back home and it actually feels great although having a great vacay here in Barcelona! I'm really starting to miss our little girl bad, and today when we spoke on Skype she was a bit sad and really missed us being there with her! Skype is great, but real life hugs and kisses are better! ❤️
Thanks for being with me on this trip you guys! Barcelona has lots more to offer than I've shown you so go visit!
Just woke up to a lovely day! Clear blue skies and a Sunday quiet (?) Barcelona awaits us! As we leave for home tomorrow we thought the best way to spend our last day here is by going to the beach! So that's where we're going! But first I thought I would show you the nice lobby of our hotel here in Barcelona, Silken Diagonal.
The entrance to the wright and the bar to the left. Kind of feels like you're walking straight into the bar actually, if I where them I would have placed the bar further in, or built a wall to shield it off a bit from the entrance. I would much more prefer to be overwhelmed by the grand interior at first sight, than by a bar.
A sitting area to the Wright of the entrance and views out on the street. Could be nicer I think. Chairs and tables needs a makeover!
And the wall opposite the reception, all in copper. Beautiful! I don't get the floor tiles though? The elevators are barely visible in this picture, but they're there. And at the end (left) of the lobby is the restaurant and a café.
I'm sure you can find much nicer picture on their website or just by Google it, but this will atleast give you an idea of it! It's clear that this once was a really beautiful hotel, but it could really need some TLC here and there. Well worth it's money though, don't get me wrong! I'm just saying, don't expect top notch!
So the bad weather never came! It's been like + 30 degrees Celsius today, and only occasional clouds has shielded us from the sun! After lunch we decided to go sightseeing again. So we took the Tram towards the beach, jumped of halfway there and started walking. And we kept going, only stopping to admire some beautiful buildings, boats or statues. And to drink! I think I've easily drunk about three litres today (mostly water and no alcohol what so ever)!
There are some really fancy and big yachts down in the marina. Like the one furthest of in this picture, which had its own helicopter in the back! Can you see it?
I can't even begin to imagine what a yacht like that costs, and I'm sure not even the "smaller" ones in front would suit my wallet, setting me back millions (which I don't have😁). But I guess the rich and famous live with problems and issues just as us, but in a different scales I suppose! So owning a yacht of my own wouldn't make me happier! Besides, I always get seasick when going on a boat trip! 😜
Now I'm back at the hotel, just out of the shower and ready to jump back into a book on my Kindle. Tomorrow we'll go down to the beach again, and on Monday we fly back home! Miss mini-me terribly but we've talked to here everyday on Skype so we know she's doing great at her grandparents! ❤️
We're back at the hotel after a wonderful day! We started this morning with a few hours at the rooftop pool. The sun beds are cramped at the small space and the pool itself is very small, but the view from there is amazing! I didn't take any pictures of the view today, but I'll be sure to do that!
There's no parasols up there, so I was left to lay in the sun, but some occasional clouds made it bare able! And just as I thought my skin had had enough sun, it started to rain! So we left for some lunch and sightseeing instead! And of course, when we left the hotel the sky was still a bit greyish, and we were dressed accordingly (prepared for more rain). Like two minutes after we'd sat down on the Tram the sky went clear blue! So it's kind of been a hot afternoon! 😜
After lunch down at the beach, we walked all the way to Segrada de Familia! Such an amazing and beautiful building! Last time I saw it (like 5 years ago) there were a lot more building going on, so I was happy to see new parts of it this time!
It was packed with people everywhere!
The design of Segrada de Familia is inspired by nature, and all the different and amazing details everywhere are truly easy to relate to nature! Love it!
The details are just spectacular!
A must see if ever visiting Barcelona!
Before walking back to the hotel, we stopped at Starbucks for some refreshments!
It's always fun to see how they'll spell my name! They didn't get it right this time, but kind of close! I had my usual coconut chai latte, and hubby tried a refresh lima (tasted mostly mint, with a splash of lime).
Now we're off to bed! It's been a long day, with a lot of walking (like 16 000 steps if my iPhone is correct), so my feet needs some TLC!
And of course we're following the terrible news of the shootings in Munich on Sky news. I'm heartbroken and so sad to learn that once again innocent people are killed by terrorists or madmen! My thoughts are with the victims and their families! As said before, I still believe in a world without violence, hate and death! We just have to make it happen! We are the ones who have the power to change the world! You and I! We must stand together against hate and terrorism! Love conquers all!
What a lovely day we've had here in Barcelona today! We slept in, just like you should on your vacation, and woke to the sound of a busy city in action; car horns, building work, sirens from a rescue vehicle and the cleaners chatting out in the corridor.
Our room is situated on the fifth floor and overlooks office spaces and a building site. Not really much disturbance from either two actually, but I guess one could wish for some more romantic settings of beautiful Barcelona!
But, we really like this hotel and recommend it if going to Barcelona! It's fairly nice located next to the Glories tube station, and just beside a great shopping mall and lots of restaurants. It's a twenty minutes walk to the beach or like thirty minutes walk to the central city. But by train or tram you're there under ten minutes.
I'm not sure what this building next to us is, but it reminds me of a similar one in London. Not really fancying any of them though.
We spent the day at the beach, me mostly in the shade and hubby in the sun!
Whiter shades of pale! But at least I'm taking care of my skin! Learning from earlier mistakes when being young that's damaged my skin! The sun chair cost me €10 and the parasol an extra €10 to rent for a day! Tomorrow we're staying at the hotel pool on the roof until lunch atleast, and here the chairs are rent free at least!
We had tapas for dinner, baby squids with aioli (which I only had a nibble of as I didn't understand if they were gluten free or not).
And we had some chorizo but I forgot to take a "before" picture... 😜
And some iberico ham, and again, no "before" picture... Sorry! 😂
And this is where we bought the delicious tapas! A nice little restaurant on a side street to las ramblas! Better prices and nicer staff!
After dinner we strolled around, doing some sightseeing. Here, cathedral of Barcelona.
Placa de Catalunya.
Lots of people everywhere so the taking picture part just isn't that funny, and therefore a bit boring to look at. Sorry!